Today I said goodbye to my first college apartment. It has been a long few weeks of putting off moving those last few boxes and cleaning up. In the end all that was left were some screws in the wall and some hair dye on the bathroom counter that just wouldn’t come up. It is a weird feeling knowing you are shutting the door on a place you will never set foot in again. I can’t say I am sad to leave, I love where I am now and have been fully moved in for weeks. But last times and goodbyes are somehow always bittersweet.
As I was doing the last wipe down of everything I noticed the smudged residue of “I love you” written on my mirror. Ryan’s touch after the mirror fogged up months ago. Even though I spent less than a year in this bedroom, and trust me I can hear how melodramatic I sound, memories were still made. I sat on that bathroom floor and sobbed for an hour when my parents left me on my first night. I was beyond excited for freedom, but terrified to be without my safety net. I was supposed to make dinner for myself every night? And WHAT was I supposed to do if I got sick? But like every other college kid to exist, I figured it out.
Now I am a regular ol’ adult, or something like that. Today I did the dishes and vacuumed, because I wanted to. I can even make chicken all by myself! Sometimes the world is still big and scary, and I still call my mom when I am not sure how to do something, but I can schedule my own doctors appointments, and hold a job down to pay the bills. I understand now why everyone says college is the best time of your life, it sucks, but you have big kid freedom without big kid consequences (for the most part). I’ll probably have to pay some fees on that old apartment, my cats ruined the blinds, and did I mention there is pink all over the sink and shower? But I’ll be okay. I’ll graduate in a butt-load of debt, and have to get a big girl job, but I’ll figure out how to make time for the things that really matter.
Now I am off to pack for an impromptu three day trip to visit my boyfriend in Norfolk, because I am twenty, and can do things like that.